спецЫально для Артема и других пЫлиглотов :)

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ROmm

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A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.
While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?"
The man replied, "A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here,and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can"t take that chance."
 
Артём

Артём

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Гы =))) Неужели не было русского аналога? Или ты спецом переводил? :)

Ну тогда на тебе в ответ:

Field Guide To Moscow. Отличная штука :D
 
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ROmm

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Гы =))) Неужели не было русского аналога? Или ты спецом переводил? :)

Так это, на мой взгляд, как раз тот случай, когда форма важнее содержания. Оборотики и все такое... а суть истории фуфло, конечно :wink:

Ну тогда на тебе в ответ:

Field Guide To Moscow. Отличная штука :D

атлЫчная весчь!
уже ржу :D
сЫпасиба, друг!
[/quote]
 
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CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like
Speaking English is apparently what kills you
 
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По-моему слышал в русском источнике :)))
 
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тогда вот еще:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro- English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a de terent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
 
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тогда вот еще:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro- English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a de terent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Скоро русский на всем земном шаре будет основным языком. К этому все идет. Куда не приедешь, везде по-русски говорят. Гыыы...
И туалеты матом расписаны.

8) 8) 8)
 
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Немец в лондонском баре.
Немец: - Martini, bitte!
Бармен: - Dry?
Немец: - Nein, zwei.
Бармен: - Nine?!

8)
 
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Встречаются два грузина, и один говорит:
- Слиш, Гоги - мая доч вишла замуж за русскаго с таким странным и пошлым именем...
- Вах! Какым?!
- Дай-ка вспомныть... Э-э-э-э... мистер пыдор... нэт... таварыш гомык... нэт... э-э-э-э... А! Вспомныл - сэр гей!

8)
 
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